...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
