I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
