seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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