This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
