Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
