you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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