I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
