You can't special order awesome
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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