She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
