Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
