We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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