Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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