If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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