One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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