i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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