Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
