just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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