i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
