its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
