the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
