It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
