I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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