Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
