went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
