Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
