I can tuck mytits in my pants
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
