we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
