A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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