After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
