at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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