Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
tell me about the eggs
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
