look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
