It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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