But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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