Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
