If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
