DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
