it wasn't lemon gatorade
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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