I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
