I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You are a genius and a whore.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
