This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
