All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
