I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
