Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
