I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
bring money and cleavage
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
