He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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