Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
