my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
