she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
