As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
