I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You may now shotgun with the bride
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
